The sorrow is greater than the death of the heart, and the tears still flow again

Under the neon lights, there are blood and tears, high-rise buildings are shaded, the gap between the rich and the poor is widening, and Yao Menghan, who is in tears, stands on the high flyover, watching the traffic under the bridge, imagining what it would be like to jump.

Yao Menghan, who was ready to commit suicide, had already written her suicide note and put it in her own notebook. Once her family packed up their belongings, she could see it. She wrote about her guilt for her parents, her regret for her marriage, and her reluctance to give up her two children. What she wrote most was her doubts and denials about herself.

There is no greater sorrow than death in my heart, and tears still flow again, alas! It's time to jump. When you get to the air, you can also look at your two children in the sky. Yao Menghan decided to take another look at the smiles of the two children in the mobile phone, and her husband's WeChat was sent.

Honey, do you believe in the rest of your life? Our life will be better, dear. Hang in there, it's everything. Yao Menghan squatted on the ground and cried about it. He didn't know how long he had been crying. He felt that it was a loss for him to die now. He should have seen the swindler spit out the money and be jailed.

First, she came to the nearby study room, bought a one-day study card, and stayed there until the second child's kindergarten finished school. At noon, she ordered a fried flour takeaway and sat on the dining table outside the study room to eat. On the recruitment software, her resume always shows that she has read it. There are few qualified positions in companies that are still recruiting in Beijing. Yao Menghan, 38, is a married mother of two children, and all her work experience is teaching and training.

Her parents once gave her millions of dollars to invest in her property. The friend who introduced her investment project kept pushing from pillar to post and refused to pay back the money. After the alarm, she discovered that the so-called friend had been building a self-made establishment in the circle of friends, and all the way was playing fraud.

After Yao Menghan lost his job, only her husband was left as the breadwinner in the family. Short messages and call notices calling for mortgage and credit card arrears sounded frequently. As soon as Yao Menghan heard the phone ringing, her heart beat faster and her hands and feet were cold. She couldn't bear it. She switched her mobile phone to silent forever, but the bills still came in droves.

She told her husband the news of her unemployment. Because she and her parents-in-law, two children were huddled in a 60-square-meter old small house, there was almost no secret between them, so she had to tell them to hide the news. Her mother-in-law was in poor health and had to have an operation. Her parents were cheated for selling the house. Now she rents a house to live in, the eldest brother has to go to school, the No.2 kindergarten can't rank higher, the mortgage can't be paid, and if millions don't come back, the swindler is still at large.

Because of excessive anxiety, he loses his hair, speaks quickly, and can't help crying when he recounts his own experience. Before he lost his job, Yao Menghan was a teacher in a young connecting institution, and many parents would send their children to such institutions in the last year of public kindergartens.

Every working day from 8:20 to 16:30, these four-or five-year-olds have to study without interruption, and only have a ten-minute walk after lunch. Because of the epidemic, the training was turned online, and it took several months before they returned to normal offline courses.

Although Double Reduction is mainly aimed at the subject education in k12net newsgroup stage, the subject counseling of preschool children has also been affected. Unemployment is like the sword of Damocles hanging over Yao Menghan's head. Every day, people leave voluntarily or passively, and before long, the whole company falls apart.

Tears still flow. She needs money and work. When she left her job, Yao Menghan and her colleagues didn't get compensation. She didn't choose arbitration for fear of entering the blacklist of Beijing's education circle.

As the only child in the early 1980s, her parents always taught Yao Menghan to study hard and earn her own living. When she was in college, she went to a 985 university in the south, and later returned to Beijing to study for a master's degree in a better school.

At first, she planned to find a job to seamlessly connect immediately, but when she brushed the recruitment software, she found that less than 30% of the jobs were reserved for workers over 35 years old. As a mother with a second child, she couldn't go on a business trip or work overtime for a long time, because she couldn't be too far away from home to send her children to school.

1. Those who are unmarried and have no children are likely to get married for pregnancy and maternity leave immediately after joining the job;

2. If you are married and have a child, you are worried that you will have a second child；

3. After giving birth to a second child, you will face extremely complicated childcare chores.

The sorrow is greater than the death of her heart, and tears still flow again. Yao Menghan is considering starting a business, doing parenting from the media, and selling preschool children's education experience accumulated for more than ten years. The problem is that she only knows how to produce content, but doesn't know how to market it.

Although she watches the mother-baby special show in the live broadcast room every night, she doesn't know how a qualified anchor can stand out. The situation at home doesn't allow her to lose her job. After learning that her life savings were cheated, her father went to the hospital twice because of high blood pressure.

Hundreds of thousands of my parents-in-law have been cheated. After all, they never ask her about it across the floor. She can only pretend to go to work as usual, and she has to tell more lies in order to make a lie. She told her parents that she had obtained a certificate called Family Education Instructor, and transformed into research and development of family education content. The state has issued special laws to regulate and encourage it, which is not within the scope of double reduction.

Because of the epidemic control in Beijing some time ago, many companies work at home. She doesn't have to go out and pretend to go to work every day like last year. She can stay open and aboveboard. Because her in-laws are at home, she still has to close the door from time to time and pretend to work online.

Pay attention to current events, think about problems, be energetic, and as a front-line teacher, have contact and interaction with children. At the dinner table every day, she will pretend to be what a working person should be, talk about some company anecdotes and teaching experiences, and make her in-laws feel that she is really working.

She will often contact with friends to relieve some anxiety, or ask others to give her some opinions and suggestions on the current difficult situation. She found that many of her peers around her, even those born in the 1990s who met in the workplace before, are unemployed.

Tears still flow. Money is honest, and it won't automatically arrive every month because of a lie that is so thorough that no one can see through it. Poverty can't be concealed, and Yao Menghan will always be reminded at some point that his life is short.

The monthly living expenses of a family of four in Beijing, plus the mortgage loan of nearly 20,000 yuan, are all maintained by the income of her husband alone. Yao Menghan's husband is engaged in the exhibition business. After the epidemic, various film festivals, music festivals, conferences, etc. were frequently cancelled, and her husband's income was reduced by at least 30%.

Unable to pay commercial insurance, Yao Menghan chose to surrender. According to the contract signed at that time, only a small amount of money could be refunded when he surrendered midway. Most of the fees paid before were paid to Shui Piao.

Yao Menghan began to receive calls from debt collection companies. Some of them would ask where her family lived in a threatening tone, and send her a bill or indictment. Others threatened that her bank credit information was broken, so that her children could not go to school.

Tears still flow. Yao Menghan's heart beats faster and her whole body trembles when she hears the ringtone of her cell phone. She mutes her cell phone, but she still carefully checks online to see if parents' credit information problems will affect their children's schooling.

She also consulted a friend who is a lawyer. At least, the compulsory education stage is completely unaffected. After receiving the call for debt collection, she shivered and cried, yelling at the other party. Don't lie to me. The compulsory education stage does not affect school attendance.

It's nine years before my child goes to high school. If I take the only money to fill the hole in my credit card now, it's not certain whether my child will live nine years later without food. Sometimes, the phone call for debt collection will call her parents, and the parents who have been workers all their lives will ask her in horror what's going on.

If any family member has physical problems, she has no savings and cash flow to support the cost of treatment. Not long after she lost her job, her mother-in-law was admitted to the hospital because of heart problems. The hospital advised them to have an operation immediately. The initial operation cost is 70,000 yuan, which needs to be put into the card designated by the hospital immediately.

They consulted another expert through a friend, and that expert suggested conservative treatment without surgery. From the bottom of her heart, she was willing to believe that this expert's opinion was more authoritative. They discharged her mother-in-law from the hospital and went home, and she couldn't take care of her children anymore.

The involution in Beijing is too serious. Children like this ordinary family have no choice but to follow the involution, or they can't even eat when they grow up. Two children, like two lives at the bottom of a well, need a lot of money to fill them in before they can be fished up.

Tears still flow. Powerful people can easily get their children out of the bottom of the well. Poor people like themselves can only enlarge the size of the well head all their lives, so that the children standing at the bottom of the well can see the bigger sky, but they are still at the bottom of the well.